I Found Inspiration In an Old Friend
A really close friend of mine said something to me awhile ago that I feel like I should share. She said that she feels like I am a role model for wives, and that it makes her want to be a better one.
1. That is beyond touching.
2. She is a brand new wife, so the fact that her “honeymoon” phase already consists of self-improvements shows how great of a wife she is/will be.
3. She is actually inspiring to ME!
4. I’m not so certain that if she saw me behind closed doors, she would have said that out loud.
Point number three is where I really started thinking. This couple has something that I think everyone aims to earn for themselves. They are the people that walk in the room and without a word spoken, their love smacks you in the face – and I don’t mean sickening puppy love either. They aren’t all kissy and hanging on each other. I’m talking about genuine love and concern for each other. Her husband treats her with the respect that every woman deserves, and she genuinely listens to him and tries to be everything he has ever wanted.
It all sounds so good to be true, but I guess you would have to know them to understand and see the beauty in it. I will never forget when I spoke to the groom’s father at the wedding. As I went on and on about how glad I am that my friend was now married to such a great guy, his father very humbly responded with “Yes, Jesse is someone that I aspire to be like.” I think that it speaks mountains to have someone who raised HIM, see him as their role model. Amazing!
Anyhow – what she said has stuck with me for two days. Her reasoning was because I am supportive of my husband’s drug addiction/treatment; she said that most women wouldn’t be. It’s funny, when the addiction first came about, I thought I would never see him the same again and couldn’t love him anymore. I was only half-right.
I do not see him the same anymore that is for sure, but I do still love him. In fact, I love and respect him more. Besides that, I took vows that I was sincere to. “In sickness and in health” – addiction is a sickness. As long as he is taking the proper steps to correct things, why would I walk out the door? After picking my own brain a bit more, I did realize that she was right. Most women (and men) probably would run as fast as they could in the opposite direction. I do wish more people gave those vows whole-heartedly.
My reason for sharing this tonight is because I really felt amazing to have a friend that found value in my marriage, without even being a part of it. We as people, and more specifically women, tend to stand by and assume that we are doing things better than someone else (in any situation). In my situation particularly, I’m often curious how people view us. I am fortunate enough to have someone who is not only inspiring, but she feels the same towards me. In my experience, it is not often that you find people who are equally respectful of each other, and see each other as COMPLETE equals.
I think that if we keep ourselves grounded more often, there is a lot that we can learn from others. Thanks to this one comment, I have found so much more value and love for this friend. It’s exciting and rejuvenating.
Thank you — Karen and Jesse for continuing to inspire me and many others, and for being such amazing friends.